fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
