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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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