found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
