Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single

Fav 28 4104 1230
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(540): View more from Virginia

Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!

(434): View more from Virginia

Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.

Fav 8 1138 3778
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(716): View more from New York

Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."

Fav 6 4371 1014
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(914): View more from New York

Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong

Fav 23 4401 953
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(205): View more from Alabama

I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over

Fav 22 1425 4748
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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.

Fav 20 1450 4299
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(757): View more from Virginia

Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.

Fav 10 3721 949
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(828): View more from North Carolina

I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning

Fav 2 39 49
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(917): View more from New York City

I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.

(323): View more from California

After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.

Fav 0 39 8
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