He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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