My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude i'm inner monologue high
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize