you guys were way drunker than both of me
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
