At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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