it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize