i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
