everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
