i think i have herpe
just one?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I have peed in a lot of sinks
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
