perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
