Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
