lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
