I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
