Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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