Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I look better un-naked...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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