Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
