So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
