why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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