Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
