Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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