So drunk its hurt
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Randomize
