Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
