im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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