Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize