her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
