yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize