like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
