wakey wakey hands off snakey
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
