I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
