please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
