with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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