I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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