Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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