Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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