I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He better not be in your backpack
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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