Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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