you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize