Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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