ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
