You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
