Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
