Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
im having a threesome with these popsicles
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
