It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
