your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
my nose is crying tears of wow.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
