So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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