you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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