He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
