I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
from now on my penis is your penis
you would pick up someone in the library
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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