How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize