So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
