38 yer olds are good kisserssss
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
