Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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