Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
