I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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