i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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