I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize