You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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