There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
