how can u be prego again
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
