And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
