Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
