im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
