Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
