opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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