I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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