I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Slut skills are useful in every country.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Randomize
