Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
